Critical Failures Chart

[Delta]

So I've been hearing about those lately. You know the stories.
Epic pirate battle, sinking ship, guy rolls a 1 and nails his foot to the floor with an arrow, gets dragged under with the ship and drowns. Then there's Sameo's story, I won't try to recap it because I could never do justice to its utter glory...

Anyway, I've been toying with the idea of a critical miss table. What I did before was basically laugh at the players and exaggerate the description of how bad they fail, but no actual consequences stat-wise.
I've been looking around but I think some of the results I found may be a bit... broken.
So what do you use? What do you recommend?

[Captain Impulse]

Personally I just adlib depending on the weapon used, the enemies present, the environment around the PC, etc. The same that I do with Critical Hits. I think a chart (charts in general, actually) detracts from the "cinematic" aspect of storytelling. I'd simply play it by ear and do what feels right at the time.

Also, just so you know, you've quoted my favorite Blackadder line in your signature, and that makes you awesome.